Article Advise

submitted: Sep 3rd 2008 | by: ClareInnes | Total views: 1 | Word Count: 689 | |

I am a non-smoker, never have smoked, but my partner has smoked practically all of his life. I asked him to explain to me why, even after a heart attack, he still cannot quit. This article has been written by me but is wholly in the words and feelings of the man that I love...

I was sent away to boarding school at the age of 6, and for the first few years my life was made pretty miserable by my peers. I was a little on the chubby side and was known to one and all as 'slug'. I began smoking at the age of 11 to become 'one of the boys'.

I achieved my goal of becoming one of the gang, which also meant having to try the various other substances that were smuggled into one of the best private schools in the UK. This made me and many other folk very 'happy' with life in general (this was the early 70's!).

So, here I am, 39 YEARS LATER and I am still smoking (although all the other stuff had gone from my life by the end of the 70's, along with the long hair and platform shoes). I have tried to give up a couple of timesalthough rather half-heartedly I have to admitand failed dismally.

During the last 39 years I have smoked as many as 70 a day and as few as 5 a day. The 70 a day, as any smoker out there will know, were when times were stressful, relationships or business were difficult or money was tight (how do we manage to keep buying the cigarettes though??).

At other times, I have gone down to around 5 a day (when forced due to circumstances beyond my control). I have had surgery and have been out of bed the next day, only to be found dangling perilously out of the hospital bathroom window, almost bursting my stitches.

In recent years, where every darned place is anti-smoking, I have risked imprisonment and probably capital punishment so I could have a puff on my little best friend.

I have given up 3 times in total.

I had a partner a few years ago, who was also a smoker, so we decided to try and quit together. We started again roughly 2 weeks later before one of us killed the other.

I tried again roughly 18 months ago, having made a promise to my new partner (who doesn't smoke). My willpower, or lack of it, let me down, and my new girlfriend would have become my ex-girlfriend as I was a bit of a bear with a sore derriere in the couple of weeks I managed to stay 'clean'!

The last attempt was last year, after I had a heart attack at the age of 49. I managed around 3 weeks, but I decided that the stress of packing up the cigarettes was worse than the likelihood of having another heart attack (go figure, we can justify anything when we want to!). I was caught having a crafty puff and a coffee outside the hospital canteen by my Cardiologist, who tore me off a strip...while carrying his own black coffee and a packet of cigarettes.

I have seen both of my parents give up smoking after many years of smoking heavily; but it wasn't soon enough. My mother died at the age of 68 from cancer, while my father still is struggling to breathe due to emphysema.

I am 50, I am overweight and I have already had one heart attack, so there are many good reasons why I should stop smoking. But the fear that I have is what will replace that need, the hunger, the anxiety of quitting and it scares me beyond belief.

On a mature conscious level I know I have no choice, BUT, if I can cut down to, say 10 a day, will that be alright??

In every other aspect of my life I am in control but, my God, I hate these things that I seem to need as much as the air that I sometimes struggle to breathe.

About the Author

Wanting to quit smoking? Don't be scammed by misleading promises - read some independent reviews of the top new stop smoking methods here.

Comments

No comments posted.

You do not have permission to comment. If you log in, you may be able to comment.