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submitted: Aug 25th 2008 | by: MartinAvis | Total views: 1 | Word Count: 1205 | |

Or ... how to build a relationship with your mailing list.

Building a relationship with a largely anonymous list of people who have randomly subscribed to your ezine or newsletter sounds like a hard challenge. In fact, it is much easier than you may think. Of course, you'll need to demonstrate a few character traits in the things you write. For example, you won't get far unless your honesty and ethics are unquestionable. Reliability and trust are the foundation of any good relationship and you'll need to build on them with charm and empathy for your reader's feelings. Add in a generous sprinkle of outspokenness and the ability to keep your writing newsworthy and current and you have a winning combination. Not all of these factors come naturally to everyone, but learning them is vital.

However, there are important factors that you can learn to put you ahead of the crowd as far as building great relationships with your readers is concerned. This is my own take on some of them that you can start doing right away.

The absolute number one secret - and if you stop reading this article before the end the vital information you must take a way with you - is that you can't build a relationship with a list. Relationships are for people. You and me.

My newsletter, Kickstart Today, is read by thousands of people. But it is only ever written to one. Sometimes that one person is my daughter, who I know reads it at work. Sometimes it is my friend Barrie, who may have said something that sparked an idea for an article. Often it is to one of my readers who I've never met, but who emailed with a comment, question or suggestion.

There are hundreds of other people who have written to me over the years and told me what they like and dislike, what their problems are and what they need to know. So when I'm writing about a particular subject it is easy for me to imagine that I'm writing it for that one specific person.

The strange thing is that the better you succeed at addressing one person in your writing the more you'll get emails from other people asking how you knew exactly what they wanted to hear. Your writing will resonate because there are only so many concerns to go round and by addressing one person's thoughts, you'll appear to be reading the minds of many.

The more you can make your writing appear to be one-to-one, the more of your readers will imagine themselves as the one you are talking to. It is like a whispered aside in a real conversation - it makes the listener feel special.

Well-meaning experts, who often pontificate about online writing techniques, love to trot out a couple of 'truths':

1. Use the words I and Me as infrequently as possible and concentrate on 'you' and 'your'. Readers don't want to hear about you.

2. Train your list into a buying mood by selling them something every time you communicate with them.

Forget it! Neither will help you build relationships with your readers.

Ask yourself this question: when did you last establish a relationship with a text book? The much quoted ratio of one 'I' to every five 'you's' will lead you to a style of writing that may be informative, but is not personal. As well as the good information you have to provide, your readers want to know about you and your life - witness the rise in popularity of blogs.

In my opinion - and experience - you simply can't talk about yourself too much! Whenever I talk about my family and friends, the number of emails I get from subscribers eager to know more rockets! Of course, you can't run a newsletter that is entirely about you! That stuff should only be the icing on a rich, content-filled cake.

A well-written newsletter is a balance between fulfilling its task of educating and informing and entertaining. The very best are like soap operas that make you want to know what is happening next in the writers' life.

Talking about the everyday personal things that happen in your life is how to build a relationship with your list - one person at a time, because the same things are happening in your reader's lives. Each time your life compares with one of your reader's experiences, resonance happens and you've found another soul mate.

As to trying to sell them stuff every time you write ... well, that is very dangerous unless you can pull it off with a a lot of charm.

I know of a few newsletters that manage it to perfection - and the readers hardly realize they've been sold to - but most just come across as pushy and spammy.

My own policy is to only recommend things that I've used and love, and to only recommend anything when I'm moved to. That means I often go weeks without recommending a single product, but when I do tell my readers about something, they appreciate the recommendation.

Another important aspect to relationship building is how frequently you publish.

It is hard to build a close relationship with your readers if you don't get to talk to them very often. It is tough to allow your readers to get to know you if you only 'speak' to them once a month, for example. As everything moves so fast online, even weekly publication can be too little unless you are a powerful writer.

Once the writing bug gets to you and words begin to flow naturally, you may want to consider publishing at least twice a week. My own Kickstart Today started out life as a five times a week publication and the biggest complaints I ever got was when I reduced to 'just' three times a week!

I still get dozens of emails whenever I skip an issue!

Naturally, the strongest writing you can put in your newsletter is that which you've written yourself. Tempting as it is to use other people's articles, if you want to build a relationship with your readers, the majority of what they read from you should be by you.

On that subject, a lot of publishers still use guest articles. While that isn't necessarily a bad thing, the best writing by far that you can publish is your own. As you build your relationship with your readers they will want to hear about you, your life and what you think. If you are going to effectively give them that, you just have to get on and learn to write. Or more accurately, learn to communicate.

And when you do start learning to write, forget most of the rubbish that you learned in school or business. Write like you'd talk to a close friend, not to your teacher or business client.

Write conversationally, using conversational grammar (sentences CAN start with and, contractions are better than okay!)

Which brings us full circle. Write as you would talk to a close friend who is sitting in front of you. You don't hard sell your friends and you don't worry too much about perfect sentence construction. It is all about communicating a message - and my message to you is that relationship building is only effective when you do it one person at a time.

About the Author

Subscribe to Kickstart Today and we'll build our relationship right away! Kickstart Today inspires and motivates your day. From famous quotations to the latest news from the world of Interenet marketing. From personal development tips to reviews of the latest movies - straight from me to you.

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