The Art Of Dating After 40

submitted: Aug 25th 2008 | by: PamBaldwin | Total views: 1 | Word Count: 556 | PDF View | Print Article

For most people, dating is extremely stressful, but those over 40 experience even more stress due to unique situations and issues. Some things that can cause complications are the issues of children, appearance, and being socially out of practice.

Since men are still the ones who normally initiate dates, tips for men over 40 are particularly relevant. First off, if a woman is confident to ask you, feel flattered, and then accept the date. This way, you know she is interested, and you didn't have to ask her out and get turned down.

All men feel some awkwardness when asking a woman out, but it can be especially frightening if you haven't done so for quite a number of years. Just keep in mind that women are nervous as well, and make sure you let her know that you are interested in getting to know her. This can be done by suggesting that you do something interesting together.

An easy date to meet for a cup of coffee will probably be less stressful and less threatening than meeting at a more romantic place. A coffee shop also helps avoid the topic of alcohol, which can be a dicey subject in some situations. Plus it is almost impossible to really get to know someone over the loud music associated with a club.

You should also be prepared for a negative reaction, but be sure you can differentiate between whether she is turning you down or whether she is just not interested in the activity you have chosen. She may not be into sports, or capable of playing golf or dancing. If you suggest alternative activities, different days, or various venues, you will discover whether it is the place or just that she is not interested in seeing you.

One of the most important things for men over 40 to remember, however, is that rejection will happen occasionally. Remember that it doesn't mean you're an awful date just because the two of you didn't hit it off. Just take it in stride and move on. Don't give up, and the right person will come along eventually.

You also need to know what not to do. For example, don't spend the entire date talking about other you have dated or had relationships with. Additionally, you should not try and be too suave and hand out empty compliments. Just be sincere - women can tell when you don't mean what you're saying.

You should also avoid talking incessantly about your family. Mentioning your children if fine, but don't end up showing tons of pictures or going on and on about them. You two barely know each other yet, so don't make it seem as if you are auditioning her for the role of stepmother already.

You should also make sure you are not acting as if you are just looking for sex. Be friendly and even flirty, but not overwhelmingly sexual. Things will progress as they should, and you don't want to send the wrong message.

Most importantly, be yourself. If you're honest, you don't have to work hard remembering what stories you told. Pretending to be someone else cannot last for long, and you will most likely shoot down the chance of forming any kind of lasting relationship.

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