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submitted: May 8th 2008 | by: Dr.ArleneKrieger,PHD | Total views: 1 | Word Count: 821 | |

Little Red Riding Hood innocently sat and sipped her cup of tea as the Big Bad world said, "I am not a fair-weathered friend," as he slowly put his arm around her waist.

Karley seemed surprised and angry at her own foolishness for falling for her latest boyfriends smooth lines. She was a sophisticated, well educated and and an attractive woman, not yet fifty years of age.

She opted for therapy after being distraught over her bad luck with dating men in her local area. This was not the first female patient that had expressed her disdain for the games that men play in the game of dating online.

I try to focus on women's perspectives on these issues not only of dating, but the new-age processes of Internet dating, sex and love. I am not so sure that the problem is specific to any specific city (many of those interviewed for this article live nation wide). It seems that in our 21st century world of dating, these issues of the search for ultimate love, lust, and romance with the perfect partner run rampant and seem to have that could be a block away or across the globe.

More often than not, women are complaining about several major repeated patterns of behavior seen in many of the men they have met. Listed below are the major offenders as stated by many of the women interviewed for purposes of this topic, intimacy, sex, and dating, or all of the above.

A few of the major dating no-no's include:

1. He swears you are the only one, but you find he spends a majority of his time on the Internet, at dating sites, telling others virtually (no pun intended) the same thing.

2. Men also lie about their age. The old wife's tale was that it was "just women" and that was okay. It is not okay for either and it is a picture of things to come. If he will not tell you something truthful, as basic as his age, what is the next little lie?

3. "if they don't have ex-girlfriends...they are still married or "separated" and expect you to put up with listening to them talk about their ex's.

4. "these guys can't even follow through, they take you on a date, tell you how crazy they are about you, and then don't call back for a week, while having "coffee dates" with other women.... all the while having made a date with you for the upcoming weekend.

As a single woman myself, I have kissed a pond-ful of frogs. The key question here is.....WHY DO PEOPLE FAIL OUR EXPECTATIONS OF THEM???? And that is exactly what they do, because we set ourselves up for these disappointments!!!!!! People are people are people......thats right....we are humans with human frailties. We all err at times and fail ourselves and others.

We are busy women, and with Internet dating seeming the most convenient way, we as women have to be, ...and by the way.........this is not an if, or a maybe, but absolutely a mandate that we "MUST BE" vigilant in our survival instincts!!!!!!! In other words....you must be discerning in your choices or it can cost you big time.

Would you scatter money away haphazardly, or give away your most valued possessions to just any old person that passed your way? Of course not!!!!!!! Then I ask, why are we as women...so often giving away our most precious belonging....our essence and soul energy. Thats right.....your essence.....that which makes up the core of who you know yourself to be, including your sense of self, self-esteem, loving heart, and even your physical life force. Your energy. Your very soul.

If the local men are acting like "boys with their toys"...living their second childhoods all over again, why must we be susceptible to their fragile egos and acting out adolescent behaviors???????

The question that is posed to me daily regarding how to find the "perfect partner" is often raised, the answer lies in loving and respecting yourself-first. On the subject of sex, love and your body, you can never truly give to another, what you have not accepted for yourself. If you don't have love for yourself, there is no real love to emit.

Grabbing onto and keeping this type of self-awareness means that, 'you are aware of what the boundaries and pitfalls of internet dating entails'. You're give physical, energetic, emotional, mental, soul-level, and spiritual aspects of your being, while maneuvering through this cyber-space world of the dating and mating process. Why not guard against the dangerous curves in the icy highways of relationships?

In the final analysis, you are responsible for taking responsibility for your own safety and growth. So even if the big bad wolf.....slips you that slippery and rancid cup of tea, it is up to you to decide if you want to go down that path! As they say...."IF YOU DON'T STAND FOR SOMETHING....YOU'LL FALL FOR ANYTHING....little Red Riding Hood

About the Author

America's 2nd Favorite Sexologist, Dr. Arlene Krieger, PHD practices In Broward County, Fl. She works with individuals and couples, on Relationship, Intimacy and Sexual issues. She is a licensed mental health professional, marriage & family professional, and clinical sexologist offering phone & office appts

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