Article Advise

submitted: Aug 12th 2008 | by: AlexArcher | Total views: 1 | Word Count: 607 | |

Cliches are as old as the hills, but the reason they have passed the test of time is that they're true. They apply today as much as they applied hundreds, maybe thousands of years ago when they were first penned. Let's take a look at six of them and see how they apply to the issue of how to survive infidelity .

You cannot see the forest because of the trees. This adage applies to how you feel when you first find out about the infidelity. The infidelity becomes the only thing we can focus on. We only see our hurt, anger and pain, not why the situation happened. Try to step back from the situation and see it as a whole. Look at what happened in and around the situation rather than just at the infidelity itself.

Experience is the best teacher. Once you can see the forest of your marriage again and not just the tree of infidelity, use this situation to grow. It's easy to sit on the porch swing before you get married and play the "what if" game, but until it actually happens, there's no way to know what feelings, what emotions, what passion will erupt from inside you. Resolve that this is the one and only time this will happen in your marriage and put it behind you as a "life experience" and move on.

A penny for your thoughts. Every self-help book, every so-called expert on TV, and every marriage counselor will tell you, because it's true, there is no marriage, no relationship, without honest communication. It is the key to everything. Not just issues of infidelity but all issues. The hardest part is communicating something that you know will upset the other person, even hurt them. But letting it fester inside of you just makes it worse when it finally comes out, and it always does.

Its me, not you. This is the only adage on this list that is a how-NOT-to instead of a how-to. Rarely do you find a situation that is 100% one person's fault. Even if you are the partner that was cheated on, you may still have had some fault in the situation. Do not just throw all of the blame on the cheater, even though it is easy and natural to do. Share your feelings, share your guilt, and share your future together.

Just because it's simple, doesn't mean it's easy. It's simple to get married. Get a license, say "I do" and move in together. That's the simple part. But marriage is not easy. It's a full-time job, a full-time commitment and it needs to be worked on every day. Every day. The steepness of the cliffs and valleys of a marriage are measured by your ability to communicate, to bend but not break, and to forgive.

Time heals all wounds. This one's saved for last. It's probably the oldest cliche there is and it's the truest one of the bunch. It goes back to the first cliche in our list because once we get past the initial situation, resolve and forgive, then it's just a matter of time. Of moving on to bigger and better things. To let this pass and to grow.

These cliches pertain to more than just surviving infidelity. They are the secrets to a happy marriage. Infidelity is an issue that probably goes back as far as the caveman (who has the biggest club ??) Hope this helps. Hope these show some insight to how to survive infidelity.

About the Author

Infidelity creates a pain like no other. At the Affair Recovery Center we know from experience. We can help you cope with infidelity. Don't suffer another day. Start healing from infidelity right now.

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