How Married Couples Cope With Jealousy

One of the most common problems that married couples encounter is the occasional bout of jealousy. This has been known to start arguments, cause pain and eventually rip two people apart.

When you are in a relationship you know that there is the tendency of you becoming jealous - often for reasons you cannot really explain.

Arguments originating from jealousy often get irrational and very emotional and it is hard to cope with the negative feelings that emerge from it. However, we should try to grab these negative emotions and use them to make the relationship stronger. At least it is emotions and any emotion can be used in good ways or bad ways.

See these tips below on how to deal with jealousy in a relationship:

1. Get a concept of your inner self

Ask yourself why you tend to get jealous unreasonably. Does your partner actually show signs that you should not trust him or her?

Trust is the enemy of jealousy. If there is enough trust on both sides jealousy will never get a chance in a relationship.

Ask yourself if it is really worth your time and emotional effort to get jealous for no reason at all.

2. Remember that a small dose of jealousy is actually healthy for a relationship. As long as it does not amount to obsessive proportions, a little jealousy is actually healthy for your marriage. The feeling of being jealous comes from the desire to preserve your relationship. It also boils down to the feeling of possessiveness towards your partner which is the result of your love for each other.

Men and women alike will want to 'protect their territory' and a person we are married to belongs to this territory. This is hard-wired into human behavior and we cannot change it.

If you keep this in mind then you can actually use these feelings to be constructive instead of being destructive and make them work towards improving your relationship.

3. It is crucial that you track down the cause of these feelings. Usually there will be some type of fear on your side that is the cause for jealousy.

It might be that the cause for this fear lies in some situation or experience you have had with another partner some time ago.

There are a lot of sources and endless possibilities of where this emotion may be coming from.

It is crucial that you find the reason for these feelings within yourself.

4. Keep in mind that there are other types of jealousy.

You might be jealous of things or traits your partner has and you don't.

You can only address your feelings if you can find out the root of the problem.

5. Have you thought about what jealousy does to your partner?

Many times jealousy has been the cause why couples separate.

Think how you would feel if you were on the receiving end of your partner's jealousy. How would you feel, and how would you react? By putting yourself in your partner's shoes, you would learn that this might give him/her a stifling feeling which might later lead to bigger problems.

6. Have a better sense of self to prevent irrational jealousy.

If the root of your feeling stems from a low self-esteem, try to work on changing your attitude and learn to develop a greater feeling of self-worth. This would help you curb the irrational tendencies to be jealous and help heal yourself in the process.

7. Learn to accept risks.

You might fear to be disappointed by your partner and do anything you can to fight a situation where you could possibly be disappointed.

In life you must accept taking risks because there is no way to avoid ever getting hurt. Try to accept this as a basic fact in life. There is no life vest against getting hurt.

By mulling over these things, you can learn not to succumb to the feeling of jealousy and have a more stable and love-filled married life.

About the Author

If you want to learn more about how to deal with jealousy in relationships come to the marriage problem section at 2saveamarriage.com.

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