Keeping A Marriage Together In The 21st Century

The majority of married couples stayed married for many hundreds of centuries leading up to the 19th-century. Most married couples stayed together because that was either the thing to do or out of necessity or because that's all they knew. But of course not every marriage was a happy marriage.

Now that we have entered the 21st century, there are more couples than ever who have decided to divorce or separate. The rate of divorce is approximately 50%. In the American culture especially, there are many reasons for divorce or separation. Even though it is easier than ever to get a divorce, the aftermath is rarely ever easy.

At the same time, does anyone really enter a marriage believing that they're not going to stay together? Are there some things a couple can do to head this off before the problems get so severe that they need to separate and divorce? There are always circumstances that will lead to divorce and have for centuries but let's look at a few ways to stay in in a good marriage.

When a newly married couple is at the altar, we often hear statements like, "in sickness and in health" or "till death do us part," which mean we are going to make this work and stay together. The sad thing is, at the first sign of trouble or when things get rough, in our disposable society, it's easy to discard the person and the relationship. On the other hand, a good foundation to a marriage is a commitment to each other to stay together.

Now if you didn't make a commitment to beginning of your marriage and there are problems, it's still not too late to recommit the relationship. You do need to say to each other things like "I'm sorry, what can I do for you, I love you, I want to work this out." Let each other know, that's your commitment and this will let each other know that there is hope.

Now, how does a couple proceed to heal and to carry out this new commitment. Some couples are able to do this on their own but most require some type of assistance, either through their church or synagogue or maybe friends or family, and possibly some professional counseling. The main thing is to make a plan and do something different.

Until your new plan becomes a habit, it will take some effort to carry this out and you may need some outside help. Before you seek some other assistance you may want to try something simple like making a date night on the weekend. Also, be intentional about saying nice things to each other on a daily basis. Again, it will take a number of weeks for this to become a habit. So you may need to write it down and look at your plan often as you carry out the acts that tell your spouse that you care.

This isn't always easy. This isn't a cure-all. This doesn't always work, but if you love each other and you want to make your marriage happier, do something for the other person. Make that other person happy with what you do, don't try and take from the relationship. Give to each other. If each person gives to the relationship, there's a chance for that relationship to heal and grow.

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Instead of giving up on your marriage, be sure you check the resources from the Marriage Saver at ways to save a marriage and take action right away with the ways to save a marriage today.

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