Article Advise

submitted: Aug 1st 2008 | by: TimBarlow | Total views: 2 | Word Count: 939 | |

Despite the high 50% divorce rate in today's society, marriage is still a high priority to most men and women overall. In fact according to a recent survey of twenty-somethings indicated that 94% of these young men and women wanted to get married someday. It is safe to say that most people go into marriage with good intentions of staying together forever for better or worse. However the interesting thing is that there is also a common trend among career moves and marriages.

Well, as you now know, love is not enough. If it were, then one out of every two marriages would not be ending in divorce. EVERYONE WAS IN LOVE IN THE BEGINNING! No one thinks they will have to learn how to save a marriage.

The agony of dealing with a failing marriage can be a devastating and life changing experience. There are numerous reasons why over half the marriages actually end in divorce and depending on the circumstances they may affect each spouse differently. Perhaps the main causes of most divorces would include sometime physical, mental or emotional abuse, infidelity, drug or alcohol abuse, abandonment or simply irreconcilable differences.

It is a known that although most have good intensions, all marriages are not a perfect match "made in heaven" therefore sometimes a divorce is not only justified but the best thing for both people. When facing a bitter divorce it isn't uncommon for one spouse to place the blame on the other. Then of course sometimes there is the other extreme, whereby unfortunately one spouse does all the compromising in an attempt to keep the marriage together.

The wife may take on all of the blame, and proceed to try to fix herself to become what she thinks he wants. Sometimes she may unfortunately compromise her own integrity or self-esteem in order to try to do and be what he wants. Then of course sometimes you can have the reverse scenario with the husband doing all the compromising.

However whatever the case Sometimes it really isn't more one person's fault than another's. Sometimes two people get married who aren't well-suited for each other, or they didn't get married for the right reasons. Red Flags

Think willing to be a Team Player..... The couple working as a team is so important because as a TEAM... Together Everyone Achieves More! This would explain why traditional marriage counseling only works effectively when both people are committed to saving the relationship. Communication is a two way street where both spouses need to listen and talk.

Here is the real truth of the matter Even traditional marriage counseling only works effectively when both husband and wife are committed to saving the marriage. Communication is a two way street where both spouses need to listen and talk. This is so important because in most cases, all the unhappy marriage needs to get back on track is have problems aired out and talked over.

Here are Four Common Mistakes people make that usually don't work

1. The first is to try to give them reassurance- by making false promises that are not kept with things such as "I've changed" or ."I won't lie to you anymore" etc. Of course this causes even more damage in the long run.

2. The second strategy is to tell them over and over again, "I love you."This usually never works.

When the time is right and you are ready, you will realize that to keep trying to hold a marriage together that is over is futile. You have to let go. You won't start healing until you do let go. In order for things to change, YOU have to change! If, what you are doing isn't working you need to try something new.

Here are Four Strategies that never work - yet people always try:

2. The second strategy is to keep repeating to the other spouse the old cliche, "I love you." That never works. 3. The third strategy is arguing, reasoning, trying to convince them into feeling or doing different. That never works. 4. Pessimism. This is a result of always expecting the worse and no improvement. . Remember after all marriage is actually a sacred institution. If both spouses truly want to find a way to refresh and save their marriage, they can find a way no matter how difficult it may seem. Remember any marriage worth maintaining is certainly worth going the extra mile. No marriage is perfect and it certainly takes work, compromise and of course the commitment to weather the storm.

Perhaps this may be something you have considered which may not be a bad idea especially since any marriage worth reviving is certainly worth going the extra mile. This is crucial because depending on the circumstances, saving your marriage can be one of the hardest or easiest things to do. One slip up, and you could dig yourself into a deeper hole, leaving the success of your marriage hopeless. Proper guidance certainly helps prevent this mistake.

3. The third strategy is arguing, reasoning, trying to talk them into feeling different or doing different. That never works.

Please enter a paragraph

Nevertheless still too often people just give up on what could be a great marriage simply because they feel helpless to make changes or don't know what to do to change things around. Even if your marriage isn't going the way you want it to right now, the bad times don't have to last forever. If both spouses truly want to find a way to refresh and save their marriage, they can find a way no matter how difficult it may seem.

About the Author

After following the proper methods many couples finally reconciled with a much stronger marital bond. Refresh your marriage today with a wealth of more effective marital tips to help you get your marriage back on track with your spouse once again. Save Your Marriage

Comments

No comments posted.

You do not have permission to comment. If you log in, you may be able to comment.