Article Advise

submitted: Aug 23rd 2008 | by: CalvinSorren | Total views: 1 | Word Count: 396 | |

As confirmed by the American Counseling Association's, the most prevalent theme running through our country's failed marriages is lack of communication. Since we as Americans love to communicate, it seems odd that our communication is failing with the most important person in our life. This fact results in our country divorce rate being 50%, and holding. If you are on your second or third marriage, increase the rate.

The beginning of a lack of communication between husband and wife is usually the inability to talk about the little things, which turn into bigger things when frustration and anger is built up. Bigger issues are more difficult to resolve than smaller ones.

Using communication to work out your problems is key to a healthy relationship. Here are a few keys points to help you build communication with your spouse:

1. Stay quiet and focused while truly listening to what each other is saying.

2. Listen to the actual words and underlying feelings and emotions.

3. Try to understand from another perspective, try to understand the other side of the argument. This doesn't mean you necessarily have to agree.

4. Rephrasing what the other person is telling you will ensure a clear understanding.

5. when you let your partner know you are not only listening to their words, but feelings as well, you will validate their emotions.

6. Be aware of nonverbal messages you may send, such as tone of voice and facial expressions.

7. Use I statements to tell your partner what they are doing wrong and how you feel.

8. Make the person aware ahead of time that you would like to have a discussion. this will make it seem less like an attack and let them gather their own thoughts as well.

9. Set aside time to talk about important issues without interruptions from kids and life.

10. Try to keep your discussion on topic.

Utilizing these tips will help you and your spouse to communicate more effectively, and just may save your marriage. Avoid rehashing the past, keep your discussions in the present moment. This will allow you to focus on solutions that you can work toward together.

See for yourself how the Light Your Fire Program has helped thousands solve their marriage problems. This program is an effective alternative to obtaining marital counseling. As seen on The View and Oprah.

About the Author

Visit www.lightyourfire.com to explore more about communicating better with your spouse or lover. Save marriage instead of seeking counseling.

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